Sometimes God takes us through some very uncomfortable things. I’m not talking about major stuff like death of a loved one or major illness or other loss. He takes us through those too, and they’re pretty awful.
I’m talking about ongoing trials, low-level stressors. Things we don’t necessarily talk much about. But things that are there, lurking under the surface nonetheless.
They’re things that we don’t necessarily ask for prayer about. Maybe we asked once, but that was enough. It’s our own personal trial. It may seem too insignificant.
Or, for me, embarrassing that it’s such a big deal to me. It’s a low-level stressor and I should not be dwelling on it. I need to thank the Lord, praise His name, and let it go.
I’ve prayed and it’s now in His hands. I need to leave it there. People have other concerns, their own trials, and I don’t need to be so focused on this thing.
But this thing is plaguing me. It’s constantly on my mind. It goes where I go. I’m distracted, frustrated that it’s not resolving. I pray, and within minutes, seconds even, this situation or concern has swooped in and hijacked my mind. So I pray about it, just between me and Jesus, and find it’s the only things I end up praying about at all. And my frustration increases.
I wish I had the answer. Blogs are supposed to, right? 3 Steps to Get Out of Spiraling Prayer, or something like that. And usually, when I write, my thoughts sort out. I hear the Holy Spirit.
But on this topic, I’m not sure. The best I’ve got right now is to wait. That’s what my Lord says.
I’m also impressed with the persistent woman who never let the judge rest (Luke 18:1-8). That in times like these, those uncomfortable seasons, ongoing trials, low-level stressors, persistency is okay. It feels obsessive to me, but maybe it’s persistence in the eyes of God.
And the last thing I feel like He’s stirring in me is that through these seasons, He cultivates and purifies, and deepens roots. A burst of growth — healthy, bountiful growth — is the result.
Okay, so maybe He did speak to me as I wrote, maybe I did hear Him. Maybe I will keep praying, and if this is all I can pray about, maybe I won’t fight it so much. I’ll remember His lesson about being persistent.
And I’ll fall on my face before Him. Throw myself on His mercy. And I’ll wait on Him.
And I’ll expect that growth, that burst, that fruit. Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, self-control.
And I’ll remember that God is God and I’m not. And His ways are higher than mine. And whatever He takes me into, He’ll take me through. And I can, and should talk to Him about it the whole way. And He doesn’t mind. I have nowhere else to go. And He knows it. He honors it. He blesses my persistent prayer. He brings good out of everything.