I have so many ideas of things to do and things to try. And I feel so antsy. None of it satisfies. It’s all fun or exciting for a while, but none of it remains.
God remains. How do I live in satisfaction with Him? Because even that comes and goes.
Right. I’m in this world, subjected to the fall. A-ha moment: I’ve been wanting lasting, tangible satisfaction in this world. But this world is physical and the tangible comes and goes. It’s fleeting.
There are days when I’m so incredibly, intensely satisfied. So close to God, if you will. And I think I’ve arrived. I’m so at peace, certain, passionate for Jesus, loving people, loving life, knowing I’ve found the pearl of great price (Matthew 13:45-46).
And then I come crashing down. Or maybe it’s not so much a crash as it is a long, slow slide down.
And I land in a day or season where everything seems wrong. I wonder if I’m saved. I wonder where God is, did I make it all up, all that joy, satisfaction?
Or there are the days and seasons where everything’s just…there. No real highs or laws, just a whole bunch of things to do, life to get through.
And I cry out. I wonder, have I lost my first love? Am I pursuing ideas and goals that are mine, not God’s? Where’s my passion for souls, love, satisfaction, feelings that God is enough?
But that’s just it, isn’t it? God is enough. But my feeling rise and fall. And seasons come and go. There are good days and bad days.
But God remains. He still loves me. With His passion. He still directs my steps. Even when the steps don’t seem “godly” enough. He’s always faithful. No matter if I’m faithless (2 Timothy 2:13).
He gave me life. I received the gift, opened it, claimed it. He won’t take it back.
So even when I’m feeling dissatisfied, or antsy, or distracted, or that maybe I’m heading in the wrong direction, or after things that aren’t from Him, He’s faithful.
He will see me through. He will use all things for my good. And He directs my steps, whether I feel it or not. Because He remains.
This world, my feelings, my sense of satisfaction, my ideas of things to do, fun and excitement, are fleeting. There are ups and downs. But God remains. He’s forever faithful. He’s the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow.