I say I can’t do it all. Or that I don’t know how to do it all. No perfectionist does. I feel so overwhelmed with all that’s on my plate.
And I look at my plate and wonder how much I put on it and how much God’s put on it.
Maybe the reason I feel like I can’t do it all is because not all of it is from Him.
Maybe. Maybe not. So I pray. And I seek Him. And I rest before Him. I know He direct my steps. So I give all my steps to Him.
And I feel a weight lifted. I know He leads me and I know that my days, my accomplishments are in His hands. His will be done. And I know whether or not my to-do list is completed, it’s in His hands.
But still, I look at the plate before me and the things on it that I know are from God. And I remain overwhelmed, continue to feel that I don’t know how to do it.
And of course I can’t do it on my own. But in His strength I can do all things.
But still, there’s a block.
And I know.
It’s not that I can’t or don’t know how. Because I can — in His strength. And I know how, step by step, or I can learn.
No, it’s that I want to do it right. I want to do it perfectly. I don’t want to make any mistakes.
Mistakes can bring consequences and pain — to me and to others. And I don’t want that. Those possibilities freeze me in my tracks, overwhelm me.
But mistakes can also bring growth, my Lord tells me. And sometimes, what I think is a mistake is not. I make a mistake by thinking something’s a mistake.
Whatever the case, His grace is sufficient for me (2 Corinthians 12:9). He’s the only one who never makes a mistake. I’m not. I’ll mess things up time and time again. Even when I think I’m doing things right, I’ll still mess things up.
His grace is sufficient. And He makes all things new. He’s a healer, a reconciler, a forgiver.
If He’s called me to all that’s before me, if He’s filled my plate, then He has a way for it to all get done. And I might make a few mistakes along the way. I can pretty much guarantee that I’ll make mistakes along the way.
It’s okay. (That’s really hard to hear and harder to accept.)
He’s bigger than the mistakes. In fact, He can take each and every one of them and use them for His glory, for my good. And He will do just that. But I need to step forward. I need to stop staring at my plate, telling Him I can’t, telling the God of the universe no.
I need to stop letting perfectionism paralyze me.
Mistakes are part of life. Their potential, their inevitability is no reason to shy away from living fully. Some might argue and tell me I’m not living fully if I don’t make a few mistakes here and there.
Truly, God is the only one who doesn’t make mistakes. Mistakes are no reason to say I can’t. Their reality should not overwhelm me.
His grace is sufficient. He’s filled my plate. I can do all things He’s called me to through His strength. And He will see me through, mistakes and all, leading, directing, refining, loving me.
It’s my statement of faith. First, to proclaim that His grace is sufficient. Then, to step out, by faith, task by task, calling by calling, mistake by mistake. My God getting it right every time, making it right, making all things new.