…I shall again praise Him for the help of His presence (Psalm 42:5).
I so desperately need God’s presence. When He hides His face from me, or when the waves are so rough that I can’t see past the whites of them to see His presence, or I can’t hear through the roar of them to hear His presence, everything in me feels like I can’t go on.
How do I go forward when my God is indiscernable? How do I go forward when the One who directs my step seems gone?
Maybe it seems melodramatic to some, but to me, where I am, it’s overwhelming. It’s often my most difficult times and days, when I need the Lord more then ever, that this happens, this bleakness, confusion, and overwhelm of not hearing God, of not discerning His presence, His leading, His pleasure.
What’s my option? What’s the answer? I know. To walk by faith. God hasn’t changed.
But still. It’s hard. I have nothing left. I’m spent. Done.
But God isn’t. One step of faith for me. God is faithful. One step into the raging river for me. And then what?
Hope. My hope is in God, my God who is faithful. My hope is in my God who never changes.
…I shall again praise Him for the help of His presence. His presence is with me. I will again know it, feel it, discern it. I will again praise Him for it. Hope.
And, in fact, the first part of that sentence is, “Hope in God…”
My hope is in God and that I will again praise Him for His presence.
His presence will return.
Praise His name.
And as for being melodramatic, the first half of the verse is, “Why are you in despair, O my soul? And why have you become disturbed within me?”
So I guess I’m not alone in feeling like I can’t go on. And I’m not alone in hoping in God. And I’m not alone in knowing that I will again praise the Lord for the help of His presence. And I’m not alone in knowing God’s faithfulness and that He doesn’t change.
