He who goes to and fro weeping, carrying his bag of seed, shall indeed come again with a shout of joy, bringing his sheaves with him (Psalm 126:6).
Is this scripture talking about Jesus, or me, or both? Jesus sowed in tears. He had a lot of good days but He also had a lot of rough ones.
He had his frustrations with those who thought they knew better than Him, with those who doubted Him, doubted His sanity. His family was there for Him, but they also wanted to “fix” Him. He didn’t need any fixing.
His friends sometimes believed Him, sometimes didn’t. And in His dire hour, they betrayed Him. If they hadn’t betrayed Him, would anything have changed? The circumstances, His death and resurrection, would not have. But if His friends had stuck by Him, He would’ve had their love. That would’ve been something.
Of course their faithlessness was something He died for. So He wasn’t taken by surprise by their capriciousness, but I’m sure it hurt. I’m sure it didn’t help.
And Jesus longed for His home, His Father. It makes me think He knew loneliness. He knew aloneness. He knew the feeling that no one understood Him.
But He didn’t cut short His time here. He could have, but He didn’t. He sowed in tears (Ps. 126:5).
He remained to the end. The bitter end. He fought the fight and finished His race (2 Timothy 4:7). He was faithful because He is faithful. He never gave up on walking in the Spirit. He never gave up on the call His Father revealed to Him. He never gave up on His singular desire — obedience that would reconcile me to Him. He never gave up on me. His prize. He never gave up His prize.
And He went to and fro weeping, carrying His bag of seed. Planting. Doing the will of the Father. Planting. Sowing in tears. Planting. Knowing His harvest would come.
I’ve been feeling sorry for myself lately. I don’t want to keep walking this life of faith. Some days are good, but many are painful. If I don’t hear doubts from others, I hear them from myself. I’m tired of the battle, the frustrations, the laying down of my life and picking up of my cross (Matthew 16:24-25). His yoke may be easy and His burden light, but why does it feel so heavy (Matthew 11:30)?
Oh. It’s the circumstances that feel heavy. And everyone in this world — those who follow Jesus and those who don’t — face circumstances. And circumstances get heavy for everyone. His burden and yoke are not the circumstances. His burden and yoke are His love.
And His love brings life. And life’s light and easy in Him because He is life. His burden and yoke are to walk in Him. To fellowship and commune with Him.
The circumstances, though, sometimes bring good days and sometimes rough ones. They sometimes break our hearts.
But we’re in good company because a broken heart knows His heart.
As I walk in Him, His love, under His easy yoke, I feel the weight of the cross, the dying to self, the pains and frustrations of this fallen world.
I go to and fro weeping, carrying my bag of seed.
I could cut short my time in this life of faith. I could give it up. I have that choice. He’s given it to me.
Or I could remain to the bitter end. I can fight the fight and finish my race. Even when I’m not faithful, He is (2 Timothy 2:13). I give Him my mustard seed and He sees me though. I never give up walking in the Spirit. I never give up on the call my Father has revealed to me. I never give up on my singular desire — obedience that reconciles me to Him. I never give up on Him, my prize.
I go to and fro weeping, carrying my bag of seed. Planting. Doing the will of the Father. Planting. Sowing in tears. Planting. Knowing the harvest will come.
And it will come, with shouts of joy.
He will come. He…shall indeed come again with a shout of joy, bringing His sheaves with Him (Ps. 126:6).