Waiting is hard. It’s when I know something is coming. I know something is about to happen, or get answered one way or another. It’ll either be a no or a yes. It’ll be this way or that way.
Waiting means an answer is coming.
Meanwhile, waiting means…waiting. And it’s hard. If I knew the answer that’s on its way, then I could start preparing, or head off in that direction.
But I don’t know the answer. And even if I could prepare for all possibilities, I could only prepare so much without knowing which way I’ll be going.
So I wait. And it feels impossible. My mind runs ahead, pouring over the what ifs, the maybes, the what would be betters.
My mind wants to figure it all out, to know the plans God has for me. I want to see the direction of my steps.
But all I can do is wait. In truth, the answers are out of my hands. I have no control over how God will answer. It’s not up to me. I pray and ask, but the answer is His.
Even things that are seemingly in my control eventually reach a point when they’re not. Everything requires faith. Even the chair I sit down in, will it hold me? Everything requires faith. Everything is beyond my control.
Everything holds unanswered questions. Everything makes me wait for the answer, even if just for a moment.
And waiting is hard. It’s when I ask why most often. It’s when I cry out to Jesus. It’s when I seek Him fervently, telling Him what I want.
And it’s often a time of near silence from Him. It’s a time when I hear words like trust and faith and rest, when what I really want is to hear go, do this, and yes.
Since I’m not hearing what I want, I go back to what I am hearing. To trust, faith, rest. And I realize that while I’ve been pining after answers, I’ve already been given the answer.
It may not be the specific answer for this particular situation, but it’s the answer I need.
It’s the answer I’ll need even when the current circumstance is resolved, when the current waiting is over.
It’s the answer I need whether I’m waiting or going.
Because even when I’m not waiting, I’m relying on my God. Even when I’m not waiting, I’m trusting Him to see me through. Even when I’m not waiting, I’m walking by faith. Even when I’m not waiting, I’m resting in Him because I am weak and He is strong and I can do nothing apart from Him.
Yes, waiting is hard. But so is life. Everything has its own difficulties, even answers I really want.
Everything is out of my control. And everything requires faith.
So I will wait. (I have no choice, really.) And I will trust my God. He is trustworthy. I will put my faith in Him. He is faithful. I will rest, be still, hide in His shelter. He is God.