Give ear to my prayer…I am restless in my complaint and distracted. (Psalm 55:1,2 NASB)
I am so desperate for an answer. I have prayed and prayed and thanked and rejoiced for little answers along the way. But the bigger picture eludes me.
I’m still waiting. And the ups and downs are exhausting.
Some days, I wait in peace and joy.
Some days, I see an open door and think, “This is it. We’re on our way now!” And then that door closes. Or what I thought or expected is not what actually happens.
I know You have sustained us. I know You will sustain us. You direct our steps, but I’m the one who has to take each step. And it’s taking everything out of me.
I fight for everything. Every day. I fight to keep going. Every moment.
You are with me, I know this by faith. And I feel Your presence. I hear Your voice. But I need more.
I need Your manifestation. I need Your fulfillment of promises. And I know that when You answer in small ways, in small things, I’m seeing that. And I praise You.
But I need You to answer in big ways, in big things, too.
I am restless and distracted as I cry out to You continually. As I try to take the steps before me.
I call upon You and You will answer me. You will hear my voice. Redeem my soul in peace. I will trust in You. (Psalm 55: 16-18, 23 NASB)
